Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
