I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
