why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
