Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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