if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
