Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize