would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
