I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
