I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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