did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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