Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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