I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I believe in your delicious
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
