I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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