who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
