Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
