My liver just broke up with me...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
