i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
