I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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