Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
