Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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