Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm jealous of your bromance
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
