Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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