What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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