You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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