Midget sex pt 2 tonight
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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