so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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