You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
not ubering you a puppy
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
