Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
