I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
