i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
