Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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