I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
