I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
