the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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