ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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