well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
