You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
