evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
