yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
