i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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