You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
