oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
