We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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