So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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