okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
