at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
