hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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