You made me cry and you don't even care
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Less talking, more tequila
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize