i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
