Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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