He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
