he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize