Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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