Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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