he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
