how do flat chested girls get laid?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
