no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
