whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
