You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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