Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
