Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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