I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize