I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
