You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
