left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
