Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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