i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
