I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
