Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize