brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
