she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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