I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
